“It will be a normal day tomorrow, and nothing wrong will happen. I will have nothing to complain about." She hung on to that thought desperately while switching off her laptop and putting it aside to make space for herself on the bed.
It was 3’ o clock in the night and she couldn’t sleep. She peeked through her quilt to look at the time in her cell.
She: It’s 10.30 in London. Should I call him?
Pseudo She: No, what’s the point. It is of no use
She: Just one call will make no difference. I should. I am really missing him.
Pseudo She: Will you do it everyday? Even if he doesn’t.
She: No. No ways. Why should I? He is not bothered and so am I.
Pseudo She: Then why do it now.
She: Right! I shouldn’t. I won’t.
Pseudo She: ……
She: …………….
After half an hour of scrambling with the two ideas in her mind, she gets up from her bed, puts on the light , opens her cupboard and starts rummaging through her neatly arranged clothes for a piece of paper. “Here it is! I almost lost it. Why the hell did I delete it from my cell. What if I don’t find it next time?”
She again picked up her cell but this time to dial the number.
##############
Tring…( Long Gap)… Tring …. You’ve reached the voicemail of Mr. XYZ. Please leave your message after the beep.
Beep.
She didn’t know what to say. She was not expecting this. All she could say was “Hi… Sorry dialed your number by mistake. Good night mmm.. Good morning… sorry its night for you… bye.”
And with this embarrassment she lost complete track of time. She was jolted out of her thoughts by the alarm. It was 7’o clock in the morning and time to leave her last night fiasco at home and go for work. She took a quick bath and as usual brushed her teeth after dressing up. She looked into the mirror.
She: I need to get some sleep. Look at the dark circles. Does sleep really do wonders to your skin?
Pseudo She: I hope you will not ping him.
She: Obviously not. But what if he pings? Should I ignore him or should I reply. If I ignore then how will I explain what happened yesterday and if I reply I will want to continue chatting with him but that I shouldn’t do.
Pseudo She: Why do you want to explain anything?
She: He should know that I am over him and not missing him( even though I am but I am trying to). I will have to tell him that.
Pseudo She: He will know it himself…
She: ………
Pseudo She: ……………..
And the tussle continued though out the day pushing it towards the unwanted end. In the evening when she opened the lock and unlatched the door, she heard a noise from within the house, it was the A.C. “Damn! I again left this stupid thing on.” All her hopes of having a perfectly normal day were lying in the garbage and one more day she ended up feeling lost. At night while removing the bottle which had again made its way on the bed, she asked pseudo she,
She: Why do we keep craving and fighting for dreams to become reality and in the process forget the existing reality. Why does life come to a standstill when what we should be doing is to continue walking ahead hoping to fall all over again coz’ isn’t the concept more beautiful than the person?
And this time Pseudo She had no answer. Do you have one?
