With my colleagues having lost all hopes of making me work someday, I have more time to kill. So I decided to satiate my never ending desire to intrude in other people’s life by turning to the social networking sites. The need to update status messages is giving competition to breathing air(however the latter will continue to win so that the former can survive).I have started giving a lot of attention to the notifications on the left hand side of the screen. A detailed analysis of all the ‘What’s on your mind?’ over a month has led me to categorize the social networking junta into 7 incredible groups: Hoping to do justice to all kind of personalities.
a.) Cry Babies – Well, these are the people who don’t want their friends to know what’s troubling them but they do make sure to mention on their updates about how depressing their life is. Kudos to them for adding spice to the bland life of 85 % of vella people (rest 15 % do the same). Not that one should not mention about being eaten by can of worms but don’t forget to let your friends in. If nothing more they might just chip in for the extra pint of beer you need to get over with it.
b.) M & F Agents (Moving & Forwarding) – Every morning when I get up and open my account hoping to see a comment on one of my recently posted picture( This is one more category) all I see is 3 to 4 updates on current location, new phone number etc. I wish they sometimes post their credit card number also. At least people will look forward for their recent updates. Why do these men ( a specific characteristic for this specie) consider everyone in their friend list to be their wife who should know about their whereabouts?
c.) Mush Bags –“Thanx for being in my life Poodle”, “Missing you Sunshine”and blah blah….. I have friends who just cannot stop appreciating rather cannot control clicking on the so called ‘Like’ option to even a horoscope update from their ‘ Sugar Pies’. Sometimes I really feel like replying ‘Nobody wants to be a captive audience to such continuous mushy displays of affection on their PC screen’
P.S. – Don’t sense any jealousy here
d.) Lyricists – I love them the most. They have a really innovative way of letting people know what mood they are in. All you need to do is decode the rock band from the lyrics. Some make it simpler for Dehatis like me who do not follow rock music, by posting the u-tube link along with it. Why do we need a song’s folder in are Media Drive
e.) Self Absorbed – Made a reference to these people in category b. You can easily identify them. They have at least 50 profile pictures in 1 month ( this doesn’t include putting the same picture again after cropping it) and the only update from their side is ‘ New album posted .’ This category is the most troublesome. Since you are pretty good friends with them so they take your advantage by emotionally blackmailing you to post comments on pics taken in a perpetual pose everytime.
f.) Plagiarist – They are the true representatives of increasing unemployment in our country. When you don’t have work all you do is post plain, sarcastic or funny quotes all throughout the day and not even once mention the source. The first thing they do in the morning is to open google and search some weird category quotes for an hour at least. Days when they don’t find anything worth their reputation, they move on to the sitcoms like How I met your Mother to ruthlessly use dialogues for which the writers charged thousands of dollars and they get for free. Worst is when they turn to sad ‘lowe quotes’ category. It forces one to commit suicide for making into this world and that to in the Social networking age.
g.) Newsmen – I am surrounded by a complete brigade of these Rajdeep Sardesais, Bharkha Dutts who consider it their moral responsibility to save people from the trouble of even glancing at the newspapers or the channels flashing Breaking News. These are the people who scored 10/10 in all G.K. quizzes and are still not able to get out of the habit. Be it the Operation Green Hunt, Germany vs Argentina game ,Shashi Tharoor’s controversy over another legendary networking site or for that matter the latest Commonwealth fiasco, they keep themselves updated and drag others also in the loop whether one wants or not. They do this to make an impression but Kids you are forgetting school is over, there’s no need to fight for that extra mark.
I am sure everyone who reads this will try not to fit in. But I assure you , my special interest in research has been utilized fully. I can find myself touching almost 4 of them. The point is not to make anyone feel less wanted in this world. We all need outlets for the split second emotions and thanx to these networks for giving us a platform to do that.
